today, mhm well.

last night i fucked him. it wasn’t the first time but it was the best. we talked in bed for hours, i told him everything and he said he understands me now. then i got on top of him and kissed him hard. hard past his girlfriend, past everything we said, past my stomach ache and dry mouth.

the first time was fourth of july. we walked up from watching fireworks at the lake and took off our clothes and got in the bed on the outside porch. it was dark and cold and we could hear boom and crackle. maybe i was more drunk off blue moon than i thought, because i can’t remember details. just that it was fast and sticky and in the morning he looked at me all panicky and said “******, i think we left a stain here” and i was like “naw it’s fine”. the next night he confessed he’d been feeling guilty about his girlfriend all day and i said “what are you going to do?” and he said, “well im just not going to tell her” and i said “thats not what i meant” and got up to sleep on the couch. i took his blanket, so i knew he’d be cold all night.

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